The truth is, most of us have negative body image sometimes. Some days we feel happy or neutral about the way we look and the body we exist in, and some days we might feel very negative about our body or the way we look. We might struggle with disliking our body because of something someone said to us, or the constant stream of photoshopped and unrealistic images of bodies in the media. Or we may just have a belief that there is something about our bodies that doesn’t measure up to our own or someone else’s standard. Sometimes this negative perception-of-self leads to missing out on fully enjoying an experience because we feel self-conscious, or we get caught up in negative self talk that leads to negative moods. If this is something that is holding you back from living your best life, you may want to consider some ways that you can manage these thoughts and feelings.
Be Gentle With Yourself
The first way you can deal with negative perception of your body is by focusing on being kind to yourself and your body. If we are feeling bad about our bodies or the way we look it may lead to being very critical and hard on ourselves. We might get caught up in self talk about why we don’t eat better, exercise more, find clothes that are more flattering and on and on until we feel like total garbage not only about how we look, but our actions and who we are as a person. Sometimes the best way to reset is to do something kind for yourself or your body. Take a bubble bath, put on body lotion, stretch or put on comfy clothes. Make sure you are drinking enough water, and feed yourself something that will make you feel great. Being gentle with yourself may include accepting that you are struggling with how you look and choosing to treat yourself how you would treat a friend who confides they don’t like they way they look. Be kind in your words(thoughts) and actions. Give yourself permission to take care of your body and be kind and gentle.
Focus On "My body is an instrument, not an ornament." by Lindsay Kite, in her Ted Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDowwh0EU4w&feature=youtu.be
This is an idea that can really shift your mindset, because our culture often reduces people to bodies. The truth is we are so much more than the body we live in! Your body is simply a vessel that allows you to learn, teach, serve, connect, grow, think, work, move, and love. When you are struggling with the way your thighs or arms look try to focus on your body as an instrument that allows you to live an amazing life. Your legs carry you as your work, exercise, and travel. Your arms are an instrument that allows you to hug a friend, reach out to a partner, or hold a baby. You can focus on your body as an instrument by serving others, connecting with loved ones, engaging in exercise that makes you feel strong and empowered. It’s easy to get caught up in viewing our bodies as something to be looked at and admired because that’s what the media often focuses on, but when we use our bodies to engage in the important parts of life that make us feel great those messages don’t matter as much.
Get Inspired to Live (and Love) Your Life
Try surrounding yourself with people and organizations that inspire you. If you are surrounded by and engaged with organizations and people that are really meaningful for you about it’s harder to get hung up on distress over how your body looks and let that hold you back. This is a huge advantage of living in a time when we have so much access to social media because we can use our social media to focus on things we are passionate about. One of my favorite sources of body positivity that focuses on humans as more than bodies is Beauty Redefined(link). I follow them on instagram and they post amazing quotes and clips that inspire me. For you, it might be something totally different like rock-climbing, woodworking, a non profit that works for a cause you believe in, looking at or petting adorable puppies, home renovation projects, spending more time with family, learning about a place you want to travel to, or motivational words from a leader in your church but try to incorporate things on social media or in real life that inspire you to live your life. You may still notice some negative thoughts and feelings of discomfort about your body but if you feel inspired it might make the difference between discomfort holding you back and being able to push through those feelings and get involved in things that are really meaningful to you.
Challenge The Thought
Another way you can deal with negative perception of your body is by noticing and challenging your thoughts. It might be helpful to be mindful and try to notice the types of thoughts you have about your body or appearance. It makes sense that we will feel differently or have a different mindset if our thoughts are are “I feel so fat today” or “My body looks gross” like a broken record playing over and over again all day long. If we are able to notice these thoughts and how they are impacting our mood and behavior we can start trying to do something different. If you have a bad body image moment and the thought typically causes you to have spiral of further negative thoughts about yourself that lasts the rest of the day you can begin to address this pattern by challenging your thoughts with different rational like “I didn’t like the way I looked in that shirt, but I know I can find something I feel great in”. If you start feeling bad about yourself try challenging that thought with thinking of something you like about yourself or try to find an affirmation. One way you can challenge negative thoughts and behaviors as a result of negative perceptions of your body is covered in our video about Opposite Action (link).
Reach Out To Others
If you notice you have tried many of these things and are still struggling it might be time to reach out for some support. You can confide in a trusted friend or family member. It’s helpful to confide in someone you trust for support, or to help you figure out what else you can do. If you are engaging in unhelpful or extreme behaviors as a result of negative body image you likely will need to work with a professional such as a dietician, doctor, counselor or therapist. It’s helpful to have an objective third party individual to talk to because friends and family often express compliments or suggestions but aren’t able to understand the significance of how you feel or what you can do to really start feeling better.
I specialize in working with people with body image issues and insecurities and I’d love to help you. You can reach me at 435-799-5035 or email@example.com. If you need additional support, you can contact the National Eating Disorders Association helpline at (800) 931-2237.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDowwh0EU4w&feature=youtu.be https://beautyredefined.org https://www.facebook.com/familysolutionsutah/videos/237228546885330/https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline
Good self-care means taking care of ourselves. The truth is we take care of the things we love. If we want to love ourselves more, we need to take better care of ourselves. We do this in four different areas of our lives: Physical, psychological, social and spiritual.
Staying Positive in the present moment can change the way we view the world. We must view stress and the challenges of life as opportunities to grow and become better. Without opposition in our lives there would be nothing to make us stronger. Stress, in and of itself, is not a bad thing.However our view of stress can make it a bad thing. According to Kelly McGonigal, it’s our negative view of stress that makes it unhealthy. We should not avoid stress, but rather become better at stress. The way we do this is to simply view stress as a positive force that is driving us to overcome a challenge which will ultimately make us stronger; similar to the way a hurdler looks at a hurdle, or a rock climber sees the mountain. The best and most entertaining stories in life tell of someone overcoming some major difficulty, why should our lives be any different! Let no failure hold you back, but continue to stay positive and work on becoming better. And remember, nothing in this life that’s worth anything comes easily. (Making Stress Your Friend, TEDX)
Photo Courtesy of Mark Lacy @ Anylightphoto.com
Seasonal Affective Disorder is a condition that effects many people around the world. Especially In Northern Utah, we have a distinct winter season that is punctuated by “The Inversion.” The Inversion, familiar to those of us along the Wasatch front, is when our beautiful valleys act as a bowl which collects a lid of thick pollutants trapped in an icy cold air. The result is poor air quality and day after day of dark, gloomy skies. And it seems to go on and on…
Here are some tips to avoid the seasonal depression that can result from these long winter months:
Take a Vacation
I know, pretty obvious. But It doesn’t have to be an expensive cruise. Sometimes, you just need to get out of the valley to feel a little better. Even spending an evening or overnight in warmer parts of the state where there is likely to be more sun and warmer temperatures, can give you the mental boost you need. Set some gift money aside and buy experiences which provide lasting memories.
Get Above it All
Utah is obviously known for its winter sports, so are you taking advantage of that? Go high up in the mountains to get above the inversion and go skiing, snowboarding, etc!
Stay Active (indoors)
Join a gym, an indoor soccer league, go to a skating rink, walk the local mall before work, find a yoga class; whatever it is, keep your mind and body healthy by staying active inside where the air pollutants aren’t such a big factor.
Spend time with friends or make new friends (in person!)
Maybe you don’t have a friend group you regularly spend time with. Start attending community groups or activities with common goals in mind. These groups can often be found on Facebook, but make sure to take part in the in-person get together's they may plan. Keeping up with your social connections can improve depression and distract you from the cold temperatures.
Get Up Earlier and Go to Bed Earlier
Due to Daylight Saving, darkness comes sooner than usual. If you are in a habit of sleeping in, you are missing out on precious daylight hours and we need the sun! So get on an early schedule and stay on it, even when you have holiday time-off.
Focus on the Holidays
This doesn’t just mean the big ones-- Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s. No, make plans for even smaller holidays or make up your own! A lot of people experience an emotional letdown after the big holidays. Pare back on those and plan a couple smaller get-togethers in January, February and March. Maybe a popcorn party for National Popcorn Day on January 19th, for example? Check out this calendar to see what fun days you could make in to a celebration!
Try Sun Light Therapy
Lack of sunlight has been shown to lead to decrease in mood. Try a sun lamp such as this one to help fight the effects of lack of sun light.
Get a Workbook Like This One and use the long, evening hours for self-reflection and improvement.
Go to Therapy
Sometimes, you just need to talk it out. You need to be heard. When your mood is low you tend to feel less satisfied with your work, relationships, and your life. Make an appointment with a therapist and they will be happy to help you figure out how to beat those winter blues!
Remember, Spring is Coming
Winter comes to an end. It does every year. Winter won’t last forever but keeping active and emotionally healthy can help it feel more enjoyable and perhaps even make it feel like it passed a little quicker! Make the best of these 3 (to 5) months and yet use the comparison of those long, dark, cold days to really appreciate the rest of the seasons!
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