The Elusive SELF-Compassion

So often, when people share about their positive qualities, they list off that they are compassionate of others. When these same individuals are asked about how compassionate they are towards themselves, that is where we sometimes see an awkward grimace, a hum and ha, and an ironically sheepish response that they don't know how to be compassionate to themselves!

Self-compassion is the ability to be kind and understanding towards ourselves, especially when we're going through difficult times. It's about treating ourselves with the same kindness, understanding, and forgiveness that we would offer to a good friend. Here are a few ways to practice self-compassion:

Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend: When we're going through a tough time, it's easy to beat ourselves up and be overly critical. Instead, try talking to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Use kind and understanding language, and offer yourself words of encouragement and support.

Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the ability to be present in the moment and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. When we're feeling down, it's easy to get caught up in negative thoughts and feelings. Instead, try to observe these thoughts and feelings without judgment and without getting caught up in them.

Remember that you're not alone: It's easy to feel like we're the only ones going through a difficult time, but that's not the case. Everyone goes through tough times, and it's important to remember that we're not alone.

Give yourself permission to feel: Sometimes when we're going through a tough time, we try to push our feelings away or ignore them. Instead, try to give yourself permission to feel your feelings, whether they're positive or negative. This will help you to process and move through them more effectively.

Be kind to yourself: Self-compassion is about being kind to ourselves. Try to be kind to yourself in all aspects of your life, whether it's how you talk to yourself, how you treat your body or how you spend your time.

Find healthy coping strategies: When we're going through a tough time, it's easy to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating, substance abuse or isolation. Instead, try to find healthy coping strategies like exercise, journaling or talking to a friend.

Seek professional help: If you're finding it difficult to practice self-compassion, or if you're struggling with a mental health condition, it's important to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can help you learn to practice self-compassion and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Self-compassion is a skill that can be developed with practice. It takes time to change negative thought patterns and to be kinder to ourselves, but with time and patience, it will become easier to be compassionate with ourselves. Remember that self-compassion is not about being perfect, it's about being kind and understanding towards ourselves, especially during difficult times.