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What's your motivation?

Updated: 20 hours ago

Ally Nelson, LCSW

Today we're talking about two very important feelings. Fear and Love. These emotions are two of the strongest motivators we have! But how do they motivate? Well I'll tell you!⁠⠀

They serve two different purposes.

→ Fear is super good at keeping you alive in a life or death situation.

→ Love is so good at creating connections and keeping us regulated. ⁠

Both are important. But! When you are not in some kind of danger, you don't really need fear to be the motivator. (It releases lots of fight or flight chemicals that can mess with you if you don't need them at the time.) When we get stuck in fear it’s hard to tap into love.⁠⠀

So here's a quick tip to find the difference in your intentions:⁠⠀

→ Fear is usually focused on the past, future, or others⁠

→ Love is focused on the present and self⁠.

Here are some examples of fear vs. love in action:

Cleaning your house

From Fear: If someone comes over and sees this mess they’ll think we’re disgusting!

From Love: I’m so grateful that I have this home! I don’t love cleaning, but I love that I can create a safe and calm space here.

Asking for help

From Fear: What if they think I’m weak? What if I’m a burden? What if they say no?

From Love: I am worthy of receiving help. This person is in charge of their boundaries and if they say yes, I can take it at face value and trust that they want to help me.


From Fear: If I don’t exercise I could gain weight, and if I gain weight, I won’t fit in my clothes, and if I don’t fit in my clothes I’ll have to spend money on new clothes and if I have to spend money… etc.

From Love: I love what my body is capable of doing! Thanks for helping me move, body! I’ll give you some love today by helping you get stronger.

So what are you being motivated by? Are you stuck in fear? Feeling ready to change your motivations? Set up a FREE 30 minute consultation with any therapist on our staff or schedule an intake appointment to get treatment started.

We can't wait to help you feel more love and less fear!

Click HERE to read our therapist's bios!

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