By Ally Nelson
Does it feel like you’re running on empty? Are you easily annoyed by people in your life? Are you feeling resentments creeping in?
Sounds like you could use some BOUNDARIES.
What's a boundary?
The dictionary defines boundary as “a line that marks the limits of an area”. Simple right? It’s the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships.
Think of boundaries like a house. Who do you let in at the door step? Who can come into the living room? Who is allowed in the kitchen? Who can come to your room?
What is the purpose of a boundary?
Boundaries are designed to keep everyone on the same page and feeling safe. If you are only comfortable with someone coming into the living room, but they waltz right into your bedroom, you have different understandings of the boundary. And that feels uncomfortable and anxiety provoking!
So often boundaries get confused as being something we use to be “mean” or push people away. But what they actually do is make relationships very clear! Which, all of a sudden, makes it feel safe to say no and hold your boundary.
Boundaries also keep us out of resentment and help us feel more compassionate. Brene Brown, a researcher/social worker, has said:
“Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They're compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”
Setting boundaries is more compassionate
because you’re able to be genuine in your responses to others.
Different types of boundaries:
Because boundaries apply in all areas of life, we need boundaries for each area; emotional, material, time/energy, physical, and mental.
Emotional: boundaries related to your feelings and ability to empathize. If this boundary is not respected you may feel easily irritated or overwhelmed.
Material: boundaries related to physical belongings. If this boundary is not respected you may feel slighted, or like people only want to spend time around you because of what you have.
Time/Energy: boundaries related to how you want to spend your time and energy. If this boundary is not respected you may frequently feel fatigued and resentful of others taking your time and energy.
Physical: boundaries related to your body. If these boundaries are not respected you may feel uncomfortable and uneasy around certain people, or by certain behaviors.
Mental: boundaries related to your thoughts. If this boundary is not respected you may feel unheard and invalidated.
Did any of these situations resonate with you?
Time to get those boundaries in place!
If you need help recognizing your needs or implementing boundaries in your life, set up a FREE 30 minute consultation with any therapist on our staff or schedule an intake appointment to get treatment started.
We can’t wait to help you on your healing journey!
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